The blog & portfolio of Matthew J. Rogers

Girl gets detention for hugging friends

November 7, 2007

A 13-year-old girl in an Illinois middle school got two days of detention as punishment for hugging a couple of her friends at school. The punishment was administered because the student, Megan Coulter, supposedly violated the school’s policy against public displays of affection.

Megan explained, “I was just giving them a hug goodbye for the weekend.” Her mother added that they weren’t even full-body hugs, just the arm-around-the-shoulder-and-squeeze thing. The superintendent, Sam McGowen, said he thinks that the punishment is fair and that the school administrators were adhering properly to the policy in the student handbook. In other news, Sam McGowen is a complete idiot.

This crap is really getting out of control. We had anti-PDA rules when I was in school too, and I don’t remember the exact wording but it was pretty well understood that they meant no kissing and no getting it on inside the band locker room. But this girl got in trouble for hugging her friends. Is this the message we want to send to kids these days? That hugging is bad? That you can never, ever show any sort of emotion or affection for someone while in public? I don’t want to see anyone else’s make-out session, but hugs are friendly, casual, and for most people completely non-threatening to the social fabric of their lives. I still hug most of my good friends, both men and women, especially when I haven’t seen them for a long time, and I’m all grow’d up (supposedly). I’ve never heard of anyone objecting to seeing friends hug or clap their arms around each others’ shoulders.

This is yet another case of kids’ lives being more and more micromanaged, of rules for the sake of rules; too many of these rules and they’ll never figure out anything on their own, never develop independent social skills, never learn anything “the hard way”…which for some things is the best way. See also “Grade school bans tag” for more reasons to hate school administrators practicing the CYA policy rather than allowing kids to be kids.

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  • Hyde November 8th, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    What the FLIP is happening in this country!! I think that it is absolutely ridiculous that they are putting students in detention for hugging. What happened to just telling students to get to class and having students respect adults and just get to class. I do see a difference in society but I think that the kids today don’t get respect so they will not give it freely. Hugging is a real important growth in social skills. I am not talking about gropping hugs or make out hugs they should not be allowed. My children should feel free to go give there friends a hug and put there arm around each other and feel loved and accepted. My son should be able to walk down the hall and give a high five and a frontal hug to his friends like most boys do. I think that society is making our children robots, without feeling. I think that is stems from people who are so sue happy that they cant see normal. They think that tag at elementary school is bad and they segregate the children by seperating boys and girls. For instanse on mondays only the gilrs can play on the equipment and on tuesdays only the boys can play on the equipment all because of some parent who freaked out!! We as a whole need to be more responsible parents and teach our children what is appropriate and what is not!! A full groping hug from a boy is not okay for my children. Hugging being banned as whole is horrible it is taking away a wonderful gift that lets anyone fill happy, complete, and worth something. It can lift a child from self esteem issues or even worse fillings or inadequacies. It is contagious just like a smile and we should not ignore the healing that comes with just a simple hug for comfort, love, or friendship.
    This really infuriates me and makes me wonder where in the world is our nation going?

  • Fredo G November 29th, 2007 at 12:11 am

    Who says what the flip? Lol you too white

  • Alinique January 28th, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    I think thats really stupid to have detention for a casual friendly hug. I would transfer my child out of that school.

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